A whole lot of nothing

So, I’ve obviously gotten out of the habit of writing. It’s okay, though. It’s been so chaotic, I haven’t had the energy. Or time to do much of anything. There have been more trips to the hospital than I can count, and I’ve been getting sicker and weaker. Fortunately, I have finally been able to start on my keto diet. It’s frustrating as Hell, and I still have a lot to learn. I have always been such a food person, and now it feels like I know nothing at all when it comes to food. I have a few recipes and there are several old dishes that can be altered a little

I’ve practically been living on the sofa, lately. I’ve just been so sick. I hope above hope that the upswing will be starting soon. The ex-husband is in ICU due to a malfunctioning insulin pump and obscenely high blood sugar levels. I’m hoping that Violet doesn’t start getting stressed out over all of this. The poor kid has had to see me go into the hospital on an almost regular basis, and then all I can do when I get home, is sleep. I like the sleeping part, but I know Violet doesn’t like any of it.

I seem to have gotten myself stuck. Everything is gray and lifeless. At least, that’s how it looks to me, right now. It’s like I’m slowly disappearing and I’m running out of anchors to cling to. I’ve been watching the Secret and hilarious cartoons to keep my heart from getting too heavy. Methinks I need to find some quiet time in nature very soon. I need to go and purge the noise in my head. I’m not sure when or how, but I am going to get a camping trip in very soon. Maybe nature will help me recenter myself and become more accepting of my surroundings. Until I can make my escape, perhaps I can lose myself to the scent of petrichor here and there to keep me sane. <3