It's nice to be catching a breath. Of
course, I'm recovering from another surgery, but the meds are doing
their job, and I've got a warm cup of rooibos tea to wash down the
best shortbread cookies, I've ever had. I've missed writing. I've
missed time with myself, and my thoughts. This is a good evening.
Recovery from radiation was rather
painful and exhausting, at first. Now, all I have is a section of
slightly tanned skin, as a reminder. I started going for morning
jogs, then a vitamin D deficiency had me feeling lethargic and
depressed. I had no idea that a little vitamin D, or lack thereof,
could make such a difference! And then, there was my last appointment
with my oncologist. She and I both made the decision that in the
interest of prolonging my life, my ovaries should come out as a
preventative measure.
So...on Thursday, in an out-patient
procedure, the ovaries came out. I wasn't planning on any more
children after Violet, so I can live with it. Recovering from
abdominal surgery is rather uncomfortable, but I've been enjoying the
rest, and time to think.
Violet is amazing. She laughs, and
dances. She's starting to learn words, and I show her the alphabet, a
few times a week. On good days, we take her to play in the park. A
few times, we've taken her to play in the children's section of the
library. She likes to point out the letter A embedded in the wall of
one of the giant, plastic tee pees. Watching her learn, grow, and
develop her personality, is the most incredible thing I've ever taken
part in.
I'm learning that even when you beat
cancer, it doesn't just bow out quietly. There are more surgeries,
and medications. There are screenings, and appointments. I will never
be exactly like I was before, and I am certainly okay with that. The
journey to a “normal” self is much longer than I realized it
would be. However, I'm okay with that, too. Things are what they are,
and I do what I can to move forward. I am less concerned with needing
to speed ahead than I once was. As long as I'm moving forward, and
taking in the lessons, there are things to smile about.
