Sunday, June 9, 2013

A shift in Direction

There are so many things happening. There is so much I'm feeling. I've recently been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and my thoughts on the subject are conflicted. Is this a real problem, or just the disease of the hour? Furthermore, does that even matter? I am struggling to function as of late, that's true...but is it really so bad? Reconstructive surgery begins in a few weeks. When that is over, the “real” world awaits. Cancer, as gruesome as it's been, has been the least of my worries. As far as cancer is concerned, I've got this. As far as my daughter is concerned, I know I have the drive to fight for the best life for her. As far as everything else is concerned...there is a heavy fog. I know what I need. I know what I want. I just don't know how much of me is left to make it real.  


5 comments:

  1. That you know you HAVE a spirit gives you a strength many lack <3

    ReplyDelete
  2. Every day that you wake up shows how much strength is inside you. Every time you hug your husband you show how much love you posses. Every time you hold your child and wipe away her tears or even just play patty cake...you show your humanity and perseverance. Words can not convey the power you have inside of you...get up every day and breath in and out and know that you have touched my life and have given me strength when I needed it and I'm sure that goes for so many other people in the world. I love you deeply, Mrs. Prettymommyface!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. PTSD may seem like the diagnosis of the hour, but it's only because it's taken this long for society to realize that trauma doesn't end at the incident. The residual is just as damaging if not more so. If you've been diagnosed, I urge you to seek help. I was diagnosed after a horrible event, and getting help made all the difference, not only to myself, but to the people I have been able to help since. You obviously are an incredibly strong warrior. You will survive this, but it'll leave enough scars without you having to cope alone. At worst it'll just give you some time to talk to someone. At best, it'll keep you stable and help you build on that strength to help others.
    I'll get off my soapbox now. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Ivy. For me, it's much easier to recognize and support others in these situations. However, healing ourselves seems to be difficult for most people. Fortunately I have a fantastic therapist. I haven't been seeing her long but I feel good about it.

      Delete