Thursday, November 1, 2012

Somewhere Between Comedy and Tragedy


We fed each other cake! Photo by FX Vargas

There's something about a warm chai latte, especially this time of year. November is the month for cozy things and savory comfort foods. I'm not entirely certain what this one will bring, but a lot of things are uncertain, these days. This isn't necessarily a bad thing.

Surgery was about two and a half weeks ago, and the time has been intensely full. My mom was here for the first two weeks, and my sister for a few days. It's been a rough recovery, even with the added help. It was only yesterday that I began working toward regaining the use of my arms, and I've been able to pick up Violet a few times. That was the worst part...not being able to pick her up. I'm glad that part is over.

I'm still in pain, but it's getting better, and I'm weaning myself off the narcotics. There's a spot on the back of my left arm, just above the elbow that feels prickly and strange, and my sternum aches. Sometimes, it feels like I still have breasts, until I look down, or touch my chest, then I feel that same prickly sensation, only less intense. There's really nothing there, but two long scars, stretching across the concave places where my breasts once were. I'm nowhere near as horrified as I thought I would be, but it is quite surreal to look at. Every time I undress in the bathroom, I see the strangest reflection in the mirror, and I am instantly transported to some sort of bizarre dream-scape. I'll be attending my first support group meeting, later this month. I had to come to the conclusion that I can't keep doing this on my own. Talking to women who have been here really helps me. I'm ready to reach out.

Even with all of this, there have been wonderful things happening. In the time since surgery, I've had the opportunity to see some incredible musicians perform, and even met a few (including one of my favorites), my beautiful baby turned one (we had one hell of a baby birthday bash), and I celebrated seven years of marriage to my wonderful husband by taking Violet and my youngest stepson out trick-or-treating. It was all very exhausting, and I know I overdid it, but it was so worth it! I got to experience multiple once-in-a-lifetime events, while simultaneously living through one of the most difficult.

With Seth Siro Anton of Septicflesh

That seems to be a recurring theme in my life; the juxtaposition of immense joy and shattering pain. Oddly, I am grateful for both. It's not that I wanted cancer, and I certainly didn't want to watch my brother die, a couple of years ago. So, perhaps I should clarify: I am grateful for the beauty that finds me, even when in the depths of darkness. There is so much to learn from it, and so much to see. I hope I use this time wisely, as there is much that I can glean from this experience. Of course there are times when I fall apart. Who wouldn't? I think falling apart from time to time is just as important as laughing and smiling.

Believe me, I'm not rainbows and sunshine about this, all the time. It is serious, I know. It's also very hard. However, with all the love and support that I receive on a daily basis, it's impossible not to feel humbled, thankful, and warm. When this is over, my next challenge will be in finding the best way to live my life in a manner that fully earns all that I have been given from those who don't have to care, but do, anyway. I've still got a long way to go, before I am done. Again, I hope that I can use this time wisely.

My little faerie-bug!

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