So, I’ve obviously gotten out of the habit of writing. It’s
okay, though. It’s been so chaotic, I haven’t had the energy. Or time to do
much of anything. There have been more trips to the hospital than I can count,
and I’ve been getting sicker and weaker. Fortunately, I have finally been able
to start on my keto diet. It’s frustrating as Hell, and I still have a lot to
learn. I have always been such a food person, and now it feels like I know
nothing at all when it comes to food. I have a few recipes and there are
several old dishes that can be altered a little
I’ve practically been living on the sofa, lately. I’ve just
been so sick. I hope above hope that the upswing will be starting soon. The ex-husband
is in ICU due to a malfunctioning insulin pump and obscenely high blood sugar
levels. I’m hoping that Violet doesn’t start getting stressed out over all of this.
The poor kid has had to see me go into the hospital on an almost regular basis,
and then all I can do when I get home, is sleep. I like the sleeping part, but
I know Violet doesn’t like any of it.
I seem to have gotten myself stuck. Everything is gray and
lifeless. At least, that’s how it looks to me, right now. It’s like I’m slowly
disappearing and I’m running out of anchors to cling to. I’ve been watching the
Secret and hilarious cartoons to keep my heart from getting too heavy. Methinks
I need to find some quiet time in nature very soon. I need to go and purge the
noise in my head. I’m not sure when or how, but I am going to get a camping
trip in very soon. Maybe nature will help me recenter myself and become more
accepting of my surroundings. Until I can make my escape, perhaps I can lose
myself to the scent of petrichor here and there to keep me sane. <3
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