Catching a Breath

It's nice to be catching a breath. Of course, I'm recovering from another surgery, but the meds are doing their job, and I've got a warm cup of rooibos tea to wash down the best shortbread cookies, I've ever had. I've missed writing. I've missed time with myself, and my thoughts. This is a good evening.

Recovery from radiation was rather painful and exhausting, at first. Now, all I have is a section of slightly tanned skin, as a reminder. I started going for morning jogs, then a vitamin D deficiency had me feeling lethargic and depressed. I had no idea that a little vitamin D, or lack thereof, could make such a difference! And then, there was my last appointment with my oncologist. She and I both made the decision that in the interest of prolonging my life, my ovaries should come out as a preventative measure.

So...on Thursday, in an out-patient procedure, the ovaries came out. I wasn't planning on any more children after Violet, so I can live with it. Recovering from abdominal surgery is rather uncomfortable, but I've been enjoying the rest, and time to think.

Violet is amazing. She laughs, and dances. She's starting to learn words, and I show her the alphabet, a few times a week. On good days, we take her to play in the park. A few times, we've taken her to play in the children's section of the library. She likes to point out the letter A embedded in the wall of one of the giant, plastic tee pees. Watching her learn, grow, and develop her personality, is the most incredible thing I've ever taken part in.

I'm learning that even when you beat cancer, it doesn't just bow out quietly. There are more surgeries, and medications. There are screenings, and appointments. I will never be exactly like I was before, and I am certainly okay with that. The journey to a “normal” self is much longer than I realized it would be. However, I'm okay with that, too. Things are what they are, and I do what I can to move forward. I am less concerned with needing to speed ahead than I once was. As long as I'm moving forward, and taking in the lessons, there are things to smile about.