Captains Log, Supplemental:

Yes, I know...I'm a gigantic nerd!!! I'm also not in the hospital. I was just feet away from the car, and Daryll was putting my bags in the trunk, when my surgeon's office called to cancel. In a word: GAH!!! I was SO revved up to go in and face this!!! I had decided to face my fear, I had packed my bags, and I had tearfully kissed my baby girl goodbye. Then, my charge forward was abruptly halted. A friend of mine used the term "emotional whiplash". Yep. That's exactly what it felt like. After coming back upstairs, and announcing that surgery was off, I sat with Daryll, not knowing what to say or how to feel. Shortly thereafter, the adrenaline I had built up wore off, and we crashed until about 1:00 in the afternoon. I'm glad my mom is here to help with Violet. We needed the sleep!

Of course I'm not mad at my surgeon. She apparently has the flu, and she did what she had to do for her health and mine. Fortunately (or unfortunately, as the case may be), they called back and rescheduled for this Saturday. I'm still not thrilled about losing my breasts, but it has to be done, and the journey can't continue without this step. I'm not sure if I'll have a build-up of the same emotions. I feel strangely at peace. Maybe it's because I have a few more days. Maybe I found a way to be ready for this. I won't know for certain, until it happens. Either way, I still plan to join a support group, and I still plan to move forward, while learning all that I can from my time in limbo.